“You’ve got to keep your mind wide open, all the possibilities. You’ve got to live with your eyes open, believe in what you see.”
From the soundtrack to ‘The Bridge to Terabithia’
Not only a great movie, but a wonderful book all about one of my favorite words … believing.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is believe in yourself. I am struggling with this right now. Why? Fear.
Self doubt is rising, threatening to drown me. This is not new. I’ve been here before, haven’t we all?
I have a fabulous chance to do something I’ve always dreamed to do … have one of my drawings in a book, adding to the writer’s wonderful words. This is why I studied art in college!
They would love to use my talent, but my drawings do not translate well. The edges need to be better defined. Do I have experience with Photoshop?
No. Oh good heavens … you want me to experiment with technology?
Luckily, my hubs has the program on his work computer, limiting when I can use it, but it is there. So I stared at the screen and all the little symbols. I read tutorials, but … whut? … is this written in English?
So … I did something. The drawings look different. Am I going to be able to do this? I don’t know. I wait for hubs to get home so we can try again, so I can e-mail something … because I HAVE TO TRY, TO GIVE IT EVERYTHING. I need this.
Since I failed Photoshop, I decided to create more defined edges by adding ink to my drawing. Late last night, I fought back a wave of fear … AM I TOTALLY MESSING UP ONE OF MY FAVORITE DRAWINGS?
On top of it editing my WIP is going slower than I thought it would. Believe it or not … this manuscript’s theme is believing. *headdesk*
What I hoped would be fun has turned into a monster with claws. Is the little I figured out on Photoshop enough to make my drawing something they can use? Is this dream going to come true?
I need a box of cookies.
I keep bursting out into tears.
I can’t focus.
I’m trying to keep my mind open … believing is magic. But in this moment, it feels out of reach.
Cross your fingers, kids, as I continue my adventure into the unknown.