Five Chapters to Go

Tags

Believing, deadlines, faith, fiction, hope, never give up, revising, thoughts, writing

I set my deadline.

I went to work, delving into all the words with my hope wrapped up in a pretty bow.

The bow has begun to unravel.

But have no fear. I have two days and five chapters left. I am resisting the urge to climb under the couch and hide with a bag of M&M’s.

Yesterday, my time with chapter sixteen was the longest day ever. Okay, I’m exaggerating a little. As I was reading, I realized that my main character was spending too much time doing the same thing, going over the same thoughts and feelings. Anyone who knows me will tell you that pretty much defines my writing. So delete! And move on. Done!

However, when moving through the words, I noticed an opportunity to add a scene, which (in my humble opinion) would give another layer to the story, give my main character the push she needs! Yea! A new scene. Then two hours later after staring at very few words for said scene I wanted to bang my head against a wall. Anyone else out there? *squints out into crowd* Anyone?

After a few more hours … success! I finished the scene and I like it.

Of course, by then it was midnight and my eyes were burning and my brain was fried.

Now, I face those final days of April and those final chapters. And with all the focus on the WIP, my blog began to feel left out, so here I am to appease it and share a bit of my journey with my blogging friends and maybe make you smile or, if you are slogging through the word-filled trenches too, help you know that you are not alone!

Wave our magic wands. Drink our magic potions (chocolate milk anyone?). Sprinkle fairy dust on ourselves and make the biggest wish EVER! Onward and upward!
Who’s with me?

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Believing

Tags

Alice in Wonderland, Believe, deadlines, fantasy, magic, thoughts, writing

For … a whiiiile now, I have been editing a manuscript that I wrote years ago. I have never forgotten it. I still love the idea, the characters, the worlds I created. But it needs help.

My YA fantasy ‘Doors’ takes sixteen-year-old Bryn through a door that leads her to all the worlds. She becomes a friend, a hero, a slave, a leader, and a storyteller, but most of all she becomes someone she can love. All it takes is a bit of believing.

Believe. One of my favorite words. A couple of syllables that hold a ton of magic.

Well, I believe that this editing business is going extremely slow. So I gave myself a deadline! I know! Seems extreme, but if I don’t, I’ll keep going … FOREVERRRRRRR.

Seriously. I have a problem. I wish I could love me.

The work can always be better. Always. Don’t stop! Keep editing, changing, adding, subtracting … until it becomes pushing the words around. And who does that help? No one.

I want to be through this WIP by the end of the month.

Now. Now. *puts up hand*

Yes. I do realize that this date is closer than I think. I also know that I am halfway through the WIP, not far enough. I also keep rewriting after receiving critiques, which digs me deeper into my revision hole. And after my critique group yesterday, I will have to go back to chapter 6 … again.

WILL I MAKE IT? I will! Eventually … if my dream comes true … I will have to work with real deadlines, not just my own, but from a publisher. I should practice.

I have to BELIEVE!

Alice in Wonderland believes six impossible things before breakfast.

1) Someday I will see a fairy, ghost, or witness an inexplicable event.

2) My hubs has emotions.

3) I can fly.

4) I will read everything on my TBR list. (It just keeps getting longer!)

5) I will have a pet dragon.

6) I am a writer. Someday people will buy and read my books.

Believe in anything and everything, just do it! Anything is possible.

So? What do you believe?

Easter

Tags

candy, childhood, Easter, egg dying, fun, hope, magic, religion, thoughts

 

My creative egg-dying adventure

Dying eggs.

Baskets full of candy.

Finding eggs the Easter Bunny expertly hid in our shoes.

All the girls in beautiful dresses at church.

Family.

Hope.

Any holiday that combines the religious belief of Jesus rising from the dead (in a non-zombie way) with a giant bunny bringing candy and hiding colored hard boiled eggs deserves a day to itself. Seriously.

Easter has its own magic.

Coloring eggs was always a fun day in my house, still is. Any excuse to be creative! We dropped a few, we had a few that looked slightly less impressive than others, but we didn’t care. The Easter Bunny hid them all and we scrambled around the house to find them Easter morning. One year, we did discover an egg a few months (or six) later when I put my foot in my winter boot. Oops.

Egg salad sandwiches for everyone!

Of course, the candy-filled Easter baskets were the star. Nothing like jelly beans for breakfast! My sister and I would actually count all our beans and trade colors (she didn’t like black ones, silly girl). Mom made her three girls matching dresses each Easter. We even got those white straw hats with ribbons. We were cute … and no, don’t ask for pics, I don’t have them. In our new finery, she pried us from our sugar-filled wonder to go to church.

And now all grown-up (well sorta) I do the same for my kids. Yea! Kids mean you don’t have to dye eggs alone. Cause I would.

Chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, Peeps, Cadbury Eggs (those still ROCK!) all nestled in a pile of plastic grass. Magic. Let’s not forget the real magic. Easter brings hope. Rebirth. Renewal. It reminds us to never give up, never despair, anything is possible.

Of course a few Cadbury Eggs (mini or the big ones, I do not discriminate) make the season hoppy. (Ah! I crack myself up.)

What does Easter mean to you? What traditions do you have?

The Magic of Why Not

Tags

books, demons, ghosts, horror, magic, monsters, movies, Oculus, Stephen King, thoughts, why not, writing

The monster under the bed, the demon lurking in the dark corner, the ghosts in the attic, all the unknown existing on the other side of our reality fascinates me. Why? I don’t know. I’d blame my dad, but really I think the interest was always in my head. I was born this way! Some people are. Some people look at me like I am insane.

And that’s okay.

My dad handed me my first horror book when I was 17. ‘The Talisman’ by Stephen King and Peter Straub. Something new! Why not? I found myself scared to death, sitting alone upstairs in my room with a single lamp on, staring out into the dark hallway. I raced out of my room, through the dark hall, down the shadowy staircase to reach the lighted rooms and normal sounds of my family. I LOVED IT! I was hooked. And will read anything Mr. King writes. ‘The Shining’ is one of my favorite books. Hedge animals … *shudder*

I always liked scary movies. If my dad was watching it, I wanted to know what it was … cause, you know, he watched the COOLEST stuff. So when, at the drive-in, he said, “You might not want to watch this part.” My sister hid her eyes, but I stared at the screen as a creepy clown doll attacked a kid, as a tree tried to kill him, and when a closet ate poor Carol Ann. Yes. Poltergeist. That one still haunts me.

Monday I saw Oculus. One … hello creepy horror movie. Two … Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) and Katee Sackhoff are in it! Love them. I didn’t quite know what to expect. The commercials offered a haunted mirror. Cool! I’ve always held onto the belief that mirrors don’t just reflect. They watch. They drink in the images of life playing before them. (Yes, I’ve been hoping to find just the right book idea to use this.) So I went. I watched perched at the edge of my seat. Losing the defined line of what is real and unreal … the tangled mess of a terrifying past experience melding with the present as a brother and sister face an evil that tormented them as kids. Both had moved on … one preparing to destroy the evil and the other working hard to believe it hadn’t been real. If you like creepy, you’ll like this movie. All the way home, my head buzzed with aftereffects. Don’t you love it when a movie, or book, takes you away from real life so much so that it is difficult to return? I do.

And the new movie The Quiet Ones is next on the list.

Horror has been on my mind lately. I’ve always loved it, but never gave much thought to writing it. My stories never go there, I assumed it wasn’t in my head to write. Then last November, I participated in Reuts Publishing’s contest called ProjectREUTSway. Why not? Each Sunday, they gave an assignment to add something such as ghosts, demons, vampires, shape-shifters, etc. to a story inspired by a fairy tale. I turned in a story every Thursday that month! And had SO MUCH FUN! The brainstorming! The rereading of so many fabulous Grimm fairy tales! With this contest, horror worked its way into my writing. From a blood drinking demon, to a killer ghost, to a fallen angel becoming pure evil, and a shape-shifter, I found my creepy side. Two of these stories were chosen to be published in an upcoming anthology (I will certainly share new information about this when I know) and one was chosen to be published on Reuts’ blog! The final one I sent not too long ago to a magazine and await news.

So, finally my love of the fabulously weird and creepy has gone a step further. Really, scary scenes and images have shown up into my manuscripts. That’s how my brain works. So now, my desire to write what I consider a full horror novel grows. Will my head go all the way there? I don’t know, but I am getting closer to wanting to try. Why not? There is this idea swirling in my mind … scary, weird, maybe fabulous. One can hope.

Have you ever loved something, but thought no way could you ever do it? When does an obsession, something you love, become something you do? Horror fan or no … I think everyone must have at least one time where they say, “You know THAT would be so cool to do … if only I could.”

Well, why not?

Take a Moment

Tags

flowers, life, magic, outside, spring, thoughts

It’s been a long, long frozen winter. We’re tired of being cold. We’re tired of school being cancelled. We’re ready …

FOR SPRING!

Now technically, spring began back on March 20th. But winter held on with all its might. Here in Northeast Indiana, the temperatures are rising into the 60’s, the sun is shining. I have banished my winter coat to its hook … forrrrreeeeeevvvvverrrrrr (or at least until November).

As we exit the darkness of winter, squinting at that strange glowing orb in the sky, take a moment.

DON’T MISS THE MAGIC!

Those tiny green shoots that emerge from a no-longer frozen ground. The green haze of new leaves that will coat the tree-tops. The singing of birds. Daffodils. Crocuses. Tulips. Soon my Weeping Cherry tree and flowering pears will be GOOOOOORGEOUS!

If you blink, if you keep your attention focused on ALL THE THINGS … kids, work, real life … you’ll miss the amazing transformation when winter fades and spring carries us into summer. There’s all sorts of science at work, but I like to call it magic. (I’d refer to Tinkerbell and her friends, but real fairies don’t care if you believe or how hard you clap.)

Let’s all emerge from our homes where we have tucked ourselves away from all the ice, snow, and bone-chilling wind and revel in spring. I will be hanging out at the ballpark, watching my kids play baseball and softball. I will be rocking on my glider out in my gazebo. I will be uncovering all my perennials as they return.

Where will you be to witness the magic?

To Be or Not to Be … Me

Tags

Being you, fiction, in-laws, individuality, life struggle, living life, thoughts, writing

Do you have a mask you present to the world? Are there moments when being you just doesn’t work?

For me … yes.

Does it suck?

Yes.

Sometimes smiling and nodding is easier.

I have returned from spring break. Every year we go to my parents’ house and then my in-laws. I have a great time visiting with my parents, my sisters, nieces, brothers-in-law! We laugh, we chat, we eat! Then we get to my in-laws …

Do you know the painting ‘American Gothic’? You know … the one with the old man and woman farmers with pitchforks? That would be my in-laws. No kidding. I put them in the category of opposite of me. They watch the news and discuss all the things wrong with the world. It’s a bit depressing really.

Blah.

I long to add sparkle and laughter, but whenever I try, they don’t hear it. I learned a long time ago that when they ask questions they want simple answers, no stories, no deep thoughts. So I tuck who I am away in my head and wait for them to address me. When they do, I give short answers. When my father-in-law goes on a rant about all the bad things I smile and nod.

They don’t know me. If I did say ALL THE THINGS, they wouldn’t like me. So I exist as their son’s wife, the mother of their grandkids.

Aaaaaand I’m pretty sure they think I should get a real job. Writing is not.

They don’t do fiction. They don’t read books. They don’t like art. They like the news and reality shows with way too much yelling where people chop down trees or hunt for gold.

They’ll never know …

The news depresses me. I am not interested in how many deaths have occurred because of swimming pools (we have a pool and they like us to know they are not fans), and most of all I don’t want to be covered in sad, dark thoughts.

They’ll never know …

I believe in fairies, magic, and ghosts. My mind is full of everything wondrous and creepy … ideas, stories, characters, and worlds. I can write, maybe not brilliant, but pretty darn good. I can draw too.

They’ll never know the real me. And that’s how it is.

They’re missing out on life by focusing on the negative. Sure, knowing me and all my quirks and opinions will not make their life complete, but they will miss the smiles and magic I share. So everything that really makes me me … stays hidden when I’m with them. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to be lectured.

I want to BE.

So around them I am a shadow of me. They have no idea what I think. They have no idea who I am.

They are missing all my awesome. I can’t share my wonderfully different view of the world with them because they can’t, or won’t, see it.

I am guilty of always saying … just be you! And I believe that. And now when I am finally really comfortable being me, I hold back at times. Maybe being me around people who just won’t get me isn’t worth it.

Anyone else wear a mask? Are there people who will never know who you really are?

Writer’s Process Blog Hop

Tags

fantasy books, thoughts, writer's process blog hop, writing

Welcome to the blog hop! I am fairly new to the world of blogging and seriously new to blog hopping, so stay with me, it might not be pretty. What is not not terribly new is writing. I’ve been creating stories and typing words for about ten years. So I am here to share a bit about me and what I do, what I love.

First, thanks to Fifi the Ninja (aka Felicia Anderson http://fifitheninja.wordpress.com/) for bringing me along on the ride. If you didn’t find me because of her, you should go visit because she’s awesome. I met her on Twitter (@fifitheninja), where I meet all my friends. We swapped pages after a contest and I am dying to read the rest of ‘The Scales on Our Eyes’! I will continue to cheer for it because it left images in my brain. Cool, awesome images. And we had a great time participating in ProjectREUTSway last November. You can find her twisted fairy tale at http://blog.reuts.com/prw-runner-tour-part-underworld-felicia-anderson/ … read and enjoy!

So let’s get on with the questions … what is this a test? *panics*

1) What are you working on?

Several manuscripts in various stages of development linger in the dusty innards of my computer. Several ideas float around in my head, holding onto their secrets until they are ready to reveal them to me and become words on a page. As of now, I am editing a manuscript I wrote years ago, but never gave up on. In my YA fantasy ‘Doors’ we journey with sixteen-year-old Bryn as she enters a door, discovering countless worlds where she becomes a friend, a hero, a slave, a leader, and eventually learns her place in the universe. All the worlds, all the creatures, all the people, the ways of life, the languages I created make my heart flutter. Seriously, living on worlds other than here equals heaven for me. As I dive into the story, I get excited when Bryn goes through another door and I get to go back to all the worlds that came from the swirling insanity of my brain.

2) How does your work differ from others in your genre?

This question haunts me. It is the one I am afraid to answer. Why? Because my greatest fear is that my work isn’t different, that it will never be more than average, just another fantasy. Then again, it came from my head, so … there is hope because I am, well, weird. I see the world differently as all artists do. I have an individual point of view no one else can offer. ‘Doors’ is full of worlds no one has ever seen with races no one has ever met. ‘Faerie Wind’ allows sixteen-year-old Devin into the world of fae as she changes into one. ‘Fate’s Mistake’ takes eighteen-year-old Kim on a journey through her past and present to change what will happen in the future. ‘Everlife’ combines nature and magic in a forest that eats people. I always hope my ideas are unique and that the way I sew the words together gives the manuscript a wonderful voice.

3) Why do you write what you write?

That’s easy. I write what I love. I write what stories materialize in my head because if I don’t … well, it would be bad. My mind lingers in the fantastic. My thoughts tread into the dark and strange. So what I write contain bits of magic, creepy, and plain old odd. The books I read usually offer some bit of scary, magic, or weird to weave through my head forever. The TV shows and movies I love leave me staring wide-eyed in fear or wonder. I want to give this experience to readers. I want to leave them wondering. I want to leave a bit of my story twisted in their minds forever, changing the way they see the world. That’s not asking too much, right?

4) How does your writing process work?

First, an idea. A spark. There are so many sometimes. I let them sit in my head like a snowball sitting at the top of a snowy hill. Some of them roll down the slope getting bigger, gaining speed. Eventually, an entire story evolves. When I pluck that snowball from the bottom of the hill, I usually know the main story, how it begins and how it ends.

Second, I need to know EVERYTHING! I fill notebooks with information about my characters and not just the main character, but everyone who might appear in the ms. I create their personalities … well, that’s not right … they tell me who they are. They let me know what they like and don’t like. I draw maps of where they live, their homes and school. I even sketch them. For months I live in their world, learning how they would react to life, imagining myself there.

As I get to know my world, other scenes pop into my head. The story starts to fill itself out. So where do the scenes go? I tried outlining … that brought frustration and confusion every time the story decided to veer off course, so I set them on fire. Marshmallow, anyone? But I can’t just write without the faint trace of a path, so I draw a calendar and write in what happens when. I can move dates around without too much trouble. I can add things, subtract things. I don’t know every plot point or twist. I have enough faith in my characters to let me know what needs to happen.

So I put words in the screen, starting with chapter one, the hardest chapter for me to write. Oh, the agony of getting the story going! The awful pressure of giving just enough information, or starting it in the right place! The terror! So I push through. Because I can’t have a story at all if I don’t write it. I can go back later and fix all the things. Once I get going I continue in a straight line … chapter two, chapter three, and so on. Scenes I need appear in my head as I go. Characters lead me through the areas I don’t have mapped out. It’s a fabulous journey, filled, at times, with frustration when the words hide. But they always return.

With editing, with help from wonderful CPs and my writing group, I fix all the problems, plot holes, adding description, emotions, tension, and taking out all the telling and filter words. That’s my favorite. The fixing, the making it better, getting critiques from EVERYONE! My problem … it can always be better. When do I stop?

Yes, there are moments visiting all my dear friends on Twitter and FB. There are TV and snacks calling from the kitchen. As a stay-at-home mom there are chores and kids. As a wife there is a hubs that doesn’t appreciate being ignored. But we all deal with my obsession.

That is me. *bows to scattered claps and muttering* Now let me introduce a few fabulous writers to carry on this blog hopping adventure.

Talynn (aka Ink in the Book) http://inkinthebook.blogspot.com/ is a new friend on Twitter (@TalynnL). She is a intern with a Literary Agent and supports new writers. You can find her words of wisdom and encouragement on the Insecure Writer’s Support Group posts.

Ami Allen-Vath http://amiallenvath.wordpress.com/ is another Twitter friend (@amilouseallen). A YA writer represented by The Bent Agency, she will happily discuss all things The Walking Dead.

Tanager Haemmerle http://writingrevelations.blogspot.com/, another friend on Twitter (@dreamoffire), is an artist as well as a writer and is doing an illustration for the upcoming anthology of twisted fairy tales brought to you by Reuts Publishing. She always makes me smile, but any conversation with her will end up on the side of crazy … crazy GOOD!

Join the fun. Jump into the minds of other writers, don’t worry it won’t hurt. 🙂 Much.