So… yesterday, I kinda freaked out.
No biggie, I do this every once in a while when life seems impossible, when what I want is an inch (or a million miles) too far out of reach, and I begin to doubt my ability to grab hold of it and make it more than a dream, but a reality.
This goes for everything, not just writing. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has self-doubt, whether a tiny speck or a mountain stretching into outer space. We all struggle. Some of us might explode in rage. Others will curl up in a dark corner and throw M&Ms at themselves (my chosen method of “dealing”). Tears will roll. We will attempt to comfort with food, or perhaps working out (I suppose those people do exist).
But what we should do is talk. Let it out into the world. Somehow, when all our worries and fears are set free into the universe they lose their power. So after I sobbed hysterically, draped over the arm of my couch, I turned to my friends on Twitter and FB. I tried not to unload all of my fears, keeping my pity party to a minimum, but got enough out there that I got responses. Really, when we say things out loud, we want someone to say something back, kind words of encouragement or an acknowledgement that we are not the only ones struggling.
Writers united yesterday to give me a bit of a pep talk. One I desperately needed. One I will need again, I am certain. My wonderful CP even sent me a love-filled e-mail (WHILE ON VACATION, so I felt special). Twitter. Facebook. A day with my writers’ group allowed me to have fun and not think about all the problems spinning in my head.
So, when I sat down to revise last night, I got through two chapters and the problem chapters lurking in the beginning of the manuscript, well, I had enough faith to know that I would get to those and do the best I could.
That’s the magic… believing, doing the best you can. It works every time. And when it’s too hard to believe in yourself, others will carry you for a moment, allowing you to drink of their faith, of their joy. I hope I add as much magic to the lives of others as they have given to mine.
Will my dream ever come true. I honestly don’t know, but I HOPE, and will always hope. Thanks to all my friends… my cheerleaders, without them I would still be tossing chocolate at myself, muttering incoherently, while curled up in a corner. I hope you know who you are. I shall bake you all a cake.
When stress hits, find your support. It’s out there. Always believe.