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I had something in mind for this post, but staying true to my pantser nature, I am setting that aside to share with you my triumph.
*cue trumpets*
Now, don’t get excited. It’s a little thing. But for me… today? My victory meant everything.
Today went completely out of whack, deviating from the norm, off the tracks.
The trouble began last night, when I stayed up until 3am whipping a short story into submission.
Or it whipped me… possibly. I refused to go to bed until I had revised the unruly mess, which meant adding in a bunch of stuff and deleting and rewriting the entire ending. And I did! And later when I read through it, we’ll discover what my middle of the night brain actually came up with…
But that isn’t my triumph.
This morning I got up to take the kids to school and was well… TIRED. So when I got home, I went back to sleep.
IT WAS A GOOD DESCISION! I feel much better. However, I got out of bed at 10:30… breakfast should have been eaten, the workout would have been practically over… I would be ready to move on to say… this blog, or the other blog post I need to do for The Midnight Society, or rereading said story.
Cue the moment Kathy crumbles.
When I panic. When I completely lose my mind and give up on anything and everything. When things don’t go as planned, I have problems functioning. I turn to food, a whole other issue I’ll save for later.
For even though I like to think of myself as a go-with-the-flow type of person, and mostly I am, when it comes to my routine… I like my rut.
If this would have happened a week ago, I would have sat my butt on the couch and done the blogs, I would have probably had a few bowls of cereal. I would not have worked out. I would not have taken a shower.
And later in the day I would have cried. I would have looked at myself in the mirror and called myself lazy and not good enough.
I punish myself when I don’t do what I think I should. This happens a lot. I am not proud of this part of me.
However, today I didn’t. I ate breakfast and then did my workout. I took a shower. I ate lunch, which included a vegetable. I did not stress over the blogs. They will get done. My story? *checks files* It’s still there.
This is my victory. My triumph. I didn’t let my panic force me into a dark hole. I didn’t let the fact that I deviated from the plan bring me down.
I set my issue in the sun for all to see. I can only defeat the terrible thoughts if I acknowledge their ever-looming presence.
Life isn’t about what I should do, but what I want to do… what I need to make me the best me ever. Living is about forgiving myself when I walk a different path than what I had initially planned.
What battles have you fought and won lately?
👏 Give yourself a round of applause. It’s right to reward yourself for not giving in, it sounds a small thing but you know you will feel better tomorrow for sticking with it today.
My battle, not won yet but I have at least recognised it has to be faced, is that comfort eating thing. So this week I’ve cut out gluten (even those coffee shop cakes look so nice) and then week by week cutting out all the foodstuffs that I know make me feel lethargic. Because it is time to get my mojo back!
One day at a time… one battle at a time. We can do it!
Yay to the triumph!!! Now come here, I wanna give you a cuddle ❤
I ❤ you!
YEA!!!! * runs around in circles CHEERING at the top of my lungs* i don’t know that j have an official achievement other all 3 teenagers are still alive & so is hubby… FOR NOW..*cackles evilly * >cough cough < it's been a rough couple years around the 'ol Stoutenborough homestead…. & it's been hard on myself & hubby(I think) but u know hubby doesn't think there is EVER any issues..BUT I'm still at my job(which I don't like)that also involves the hubby & im still getting my butt up & do my bible reading so that is nice… But yea…TOTALLY HEAR U & I appauld u 👏💗👍🏻
Just keep doing the best you can! And yea for everyone being alive!
You know, I completely get this. This IS a victory, and I hope they keep coming. I think we all set impossible standards for ourselves. Wait. Maybe only women do that. (Something for me to think about.) But I can always tell you how I’m lacking, what I haven’t gotten done, BUT I’ve come to terms with it–My flaws are there. I like myself anyway:) Hope you do, too.
I do like me… and the older I get the more I am able to forgive myself for not being perfect. 🙂
I love you. You are amazing. And I am SO glad you were able to do this for yourself today! Small steps wind up being the biggest ones. Keep changing that train of thought, my dear. I love you. (Did I mention that? :P)
What would I do without you? You are one of my heroes! Love you!!!!!!! ❤