There are moments when all the things I have to do attack. The list runs through my mind constantly. I don’t sleep, I simply repeat the list over and over and over.
Then fear that I can’t.
Then the darkness of failure begins to stretch its claws across my brain.
Then I can’t focus. I can’t function. Anxiety paralyzes me.
Panic sets in.
I will fail.
But doing nothing isn’t an option. Doing nothing is failure. All I can do is try.
So I make lists. I write down all the things. For some reason seeing it, being able to line the things up in a neat little row makes them less scary. Looking at the words, I can prioritize, push aside the things that can wait and allow my brain to focus on what has to be done.
Which brings me to now. And my list… well, lists. Writing life list and real life list, two worlds that sometimes never get along. But they have to. For my sanity, or what’s left of it.
I can function under pressure. Once I get past the fear, I tend to thrive with all the things to do, with my list firmly grasped in my sweaty fist.
And, of course, I have my own little cheering section. People who tell me I’m fine, who tell me I can do anything, who tell me I’ve got this. My fabulous friends who know me, who know my craziness and still love me. For my hubs who keeps texting me to see if I’m okay… for the tweets and FB posts filled with encouragement.
I LOVE YOU ALL!
I am okay. Today I will reach a place of calm and tackle the list.
So let’s end this post with a bit of excitement… A fabulous lady, one of my Twitter friends, Julie Hutchings @HutchingsJulie (who posted my madness story on her blog last March) has signed with REUTS! Go read about my new Reuts family member. I can’t wait to read her book!
Think of me as you set forth on your adventure today, as you face your lists and possibly demons and dragons. I will think of you.
*draws sword* FOR NARNIA! FOR US!