I have a switch in my brain, one that is either in the on or off position. Not a good thing. When I’m in, I’m all in, neglecting everything else. If there’s an unfinished puzzle sitting out, I MUST finish it. I begin yard work only to spend all day to complete it. Give me a manuscript to critique and that is all I will focus on until all my comments are made.
Do you see the problem yet?
I have things I want to accomplish, a person I want to be. Take care of my kids, though they don’t need me quite as much anymore. Take care of the house, or keep it as clean as I can anyway, with clean clothes and an assortment of food. Take care of me, I love to workout and sweat to gain muscle and flexibility. Take care of my chosen profession…I’m a writer and want to share my books with everyone.
So many things. When I am working out, I feel guilty for not writing. I should be writing. When I am stuck to that puzzle, I should be cleaning or making my family dinner. When I am writing, I should stop and get my workout in. As I critique other people’s words, I should take time to write my own words.
I should be…
Paying attention to my family
The phrase “I should be” circles through my brain all the time. And that causes this strange paralysis.
If I can’t sit and write all day…cause it is my job…then I won’t write at all.
If I can’t give my workout everything I have then I will skip it.
If I can’t give every moment to my writer friends’ words then I shouldn’t do it at all.
If I ignore my family, then I am a horrible person.
Wow. My brain can be a pretty messed up place.
I need to change my thinking. Everything has its moment. I can have the morning to eat and throw toys at the dog, maybe watch a TV show. I can workout without guilt because it has a place in the day. I can write for an hour here and a half an hour there and get words added. I can keep the house in fairly good shape without running around like an idiot because there are so many other things to do.
I can just be.
People say there aren’t enough hours in the day. But if there were more hours, would that help us? Wouldn’t we continue to try to jam in everything we could? Wouldn’t we continue to think of all the things that aren’t getting done?
There’s a time to accept what can be done. There’s a time to accept we are human beings. We are limited. And this is our one life.
This is it.
When I reach the end of this life, I won’t look back and regret all the things that didn’t get done as quickly as I wanted. I will look back at all the things I accomplished.
Do the best you can with the time you have.