So I Wrote a Thing

Tags

fantasy, finishing, first draft, magic, thoughts, What's next, writing, YA

On Tuesday, I put on my face of determination and set out to conquer my manuscript. My goal…to reach the end.

And, after 2,100 words, I did! And I think it was before midnight.

The sequel to DOORS, DOORS, book 2 (someday with a really cool title) a YA dark fantasy is now happily nestled in my computer as a first draft of 91,000 words.

Not too shabby.

This makes the… wait…

*counts* *thinks* counts*

…the 8th YA manuscript I’ve finished. All of those exist in various stages of revisions and whatever.

As a first draft, this sucker has a long way to go. But having the words down makes me feel so much better! I don’t care that it’s a mess. I don’t care that it might not make sense. I don’t care that the writing isn’t great.

I care that the story is down. I care that I wrote a book. I care that I didn’t let fear stop me.

And all those problems…the beginning, pacing, passive sentences, horrible transitions, not so good character development, lack of description… yeah, those? I’ll fix that, or try to. No worries. Then I’ll send it to some CPs and see what they have to say and take all their helpful comments and make it better.

Eventually, I’ll get it polished to the best of my ability. And maybe someday it will be a book. That would be fun.

But what now? What does one do after finishing a draft? Well, first of all spring break is next week, which means a whole lot of doing nothing. Then RT convention in Vegas the week after. OMG, me…in Vegas…what was I thinking?

When I get home and after possibly sit in a comatose state to recover, I’m going to draft DOORS, book 3. Because it is telling me all the things. Bryn’s journey isn’t over. I left her in sort of a terrible place.

Why not go right back into DOORS 2? Because I find that the longer I let my words sit the better. And book 3 might be upset and get a bit unruly if I ignore it. Dude, I’ve been telling the story, I’m going to continue until it’s done.

So I wrote a thing. And feel pretty darn good about it.

Yup. Like that.

Thanks to everyone who sat with me during the process. Don’t leave me yet! The journey has just begun. So much more magic to make.

Positively Awful Dilemma

Tags

books, choosing, dilemmas, thoughts, What to read next

We all face it.

That wonderful feeling of finishing a book, immediately sucked into the void of OH NO WHAT AM I GOING TO READ NEXT!?!!!?!??!?

I recently stared at my book shelves, gazed at my Nook, and perused the books on my Kindle app on my phone, trying to decide. Touching all the spines. Wondering why I have to buy so many books as to give myself so many choices. CHOICES!

Well, I did choose. But I am undecided if it was the right choice.

Then my 13 year old daughter closed a book yesterday. “Oh no, Mom! I don’t know what to read next!”

Ah. Yes. I told her that I had just faced that particular brand of frustration and woe and wished her good luck.

Well, my job wasn’t over. She brought down five books and dropped the stack onto the table. “Help me!”

My response…

So she verbalized her thought process…holding up each relevant book.

She really loved the first two in this series and would love to finish it! And she can because she had the end!

“Always a good thing…” I say.

But…she picks up another…

Book one was very cool and I have the rest of the series…but there are a lot of books and I would have to read them all and…well, she was uncertain if she wanted to commit herself to that.

I have read that series… and loved it, so “Dude, that series is GOOD!”

But…one at a time, she waves the next three in the air…

The rest of the books are book twos… but she doesn’t have the rest of the series. Because they aren’t out yet, or she might not own it (OMG THE WORLD MIGHT END!).

“You have a hard choice.”

“I’m just going to eenie meenie miny moe it!” she says, with a determined look.

So I watch as she runs through the sing-song phrase, one after the other declaring her precious tomes “not it”.

And she holds the winner…a dull gleam in her eyes. “I don’t know if this one should be it.”

“Well,” I say, “did it hurt to set any aside?”

“Ummmm…” She stares at them, running her fingers over the covers. Her face twists with pain. The hurt of indecision. What if she chooses the wrong one? Which will give her the most satisfaction? What world does she want to go to?

I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry.

Finally she grabs one and smiles. “This!” FYI…this was NOT the one chosen through the eenie meenie miny moe game.

She’s going to finish The Thirteenth Reality series by James Dashner. I have read AND LOVED book one and plan on borrowing hers to finish the series.

I nod my approval and she carries all her books back up to the special places on her shelves.

Witnessing my daughter become a reader, a lover of books, is one of the great joys of my life. Watching her stress over what to read next, as if choosing the wrong one will cause a global disaster, makes me proud. Because books are important. Not everyone loves them, but for those of us who do, they mean so much. Escape. Adventure. Feeding our creative need. Making our insides flip every which way. Sending tingles along our spines. Letting words paint images in our minds, some of which never leave.

Will we get to read everything we ever wanted to? Nope. Probably not. So the process of choosing is important, though not life threatening. Whatever you read next, whether it’s one you know or one still waiting to be chosen…enjoy it! Then share your experience, to help those of us trying to decide.

 

 

 

 

My Ghost Hunting Adventure

Tags

Believing, ghost hunting, Indiana, Randolph County Informary, spooky, The other side, Winchester

If you know me, you know ghosts fascinate me. But it’s deeper than that, what exists beyond the world of our seeing fascinates me. That place where spirits roam, where faeries and demons exist just out of our sight is something I believe in.

So when my friend Shelly asked me to join her team, the East Central Indiana Paranormal Investigators, for an investigation months and months ago, I SAID YES!

And nothing happened.

Then she invited me again.

Last Sunday we traveled to Winchester, Indiana to the Randolph County Infirmary. And let’s just call out the whole Winchester thing…if you don’t know my love of the show Supernatural…

Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural… I ❤ Dean!

That was a nice detour, but back to the old building…

Front of Randolph County Infirmary in Winchester, Indiana

We got there, watched a video, took a tour, and set up cameras.

Entry way of Randolph County Infirmary

Eight camera angles set to record

This place has been around since the 1800s, well, mostly. The original structure was built as an asylum, but that burned down. The building now is built on what remained of the foundation. There was lots of history, and to be honest, I was so excited and busy looking at the place that I can’t remember most of it. But many people died there. It is said people are buried on the land. And we were told about the apparitions that had been spotted, voices that had been heard, and people’s feelings about the place.

But I want an experience. One of my own. I don’t need proof, to believe, I already do. Not seen doesn’t mean not real. But as someone intrigued by the other side, I want to see or hear something I can’t explain any other way than paranormal.

So I had high hopes for this creepy place. Even in the daylight…check out the spookiness.

Long hallway, women’s side of building

Basement

It was an awesome place!

Funny how I get different reactions from people when I tell them about my adventures. Some are thrilled and want to come. Others stare at me funny. My sisters pretty much think I’m crazy and that a ghost will murder me in the dark. Yeah, no. Ghost hunting is a lot of sitting in the dark, listening, watching.

It’s holding an audio recorder, sending questions out into the shadows and hoping someone answers you.

It’s a lot of hope, twisted with logic.

We heard odd sounds, but it was a windy night. There was a well-traveled street outside. It was an old building and I was not familiar with all its normal creaks and groans, if any.

I sat in a cell, they used for people who needed a little extra…restraint.

I sat in an old chair with wheels on the bottom.

I wandered the attic and basement.

I ate a lot of snacks to stay awake.

And can’t say with certainty that anything paranormal happened.

A duo heard a door slam and footsteps, but sadly didn’t have a recorder.

There is hope that when ECIPI listen to the audio, they hear something. I’m sure they’ll tell me if they do.

So for now, I’ll keep believing in that other side, in the strange place beyond the veil. Believing it exists because I need it to exist, so that there is somewhere other than here. Because there is so much more to this living thing, to this universe than what we can see. Somewhere I haven’t glimpsed…yet.

But I will.

 

 

No Judgement Zone

Tags

being supportive, do your best, Fitbit, friends, goals, no judgements, steps

A while ago, I posted about my new friend Buffy…my Fitbit. You can read it here.

Together, Buffy and I aren’t out to conquer the world. We aren’t out to show people how awesome we are…cause we’re not, we’re just us.

And enough of speaking of my Fitbit and me as “We”.

I still love this gadget strapped to my wrist. I love how she lets me know my heart rate, my calorie burn, helps track my calorie intake (when I tell her what I ate…hehe).

And I have joined a few challenges, where groups see who can get the most steps during the workweek or the weekend.

Then I found my fabulous friend Jolene from The Midnight Society and, well…tweets happened.

1. What I’ve learned this week:

Don’t ever challenge @KathleenPalm to a step challenge. She will destroy you…and your soul. ❤️💀❤️ ~Jolene

2. Don’t worry I’m only TWENTY THOUSAND steps behind @KathleenPalm and it’s only Tuesday. I’m getting owned. ~Jolene

and…

3. I AM ALMOST 30,000 STEPS BEHIND @KathleenPalm LIKE WTF ~Jolene

And we laughed!

4. RIGHT LIKE I HAVE AS MANY AS IT TAKES TO GET TO PIZZA. NO MORE. ~Jolene

And I cheered her to do her best and not to worry I wouldn’t destroy her soul…not all of it.  

Then yesterday two more of my Twitter friends, Rena and Brett, were pulled into our Fitbit conversation.

5. @BookSquirt @KathleenPalm The Fitbit app. We have a challenge going and she is murdering me. ~Jolene

No murdering! *hides bloody knife* 

6. @JoleneHaley @KathleenPalm This is why I won’t add her as a friend on Fitbit. ~Rena

They hesitated to be my friends. Because of my steps. Because theirs weren’t as high… 

No.

BE MY FRIEND! This thing on our wrists does not make us enemies. It makes us each others’ cheerleaders. It helps us be the best us we can be. It’s not about the most steps, those are just numbers and numbers don’t get to rule our lives. Feeling good about ourselves does. Encouraging others, laughing, being together is what’s important.

And we are now ALL FRIENDS and learned that Brett’s grandma walks LIKE EVERYWHERE and is beating us all. I think we’re all smiling now. All happily linked through steppage and technology. I love seeing them as friends on my Fitbit, makes me feel like I am not alone as I go through my day.

All the Fitbit people out there UNITE! Find the way this little gizmo works for you and don’t worry about everyone else. Don’t overthink. Just have fun.

Here in Fitbit land, I have a no judgement policy. Because, I certainly don’t want to be judged.

Maybe let this way of thinking enter every aspect of our lives. We could be happier. It’s life. LIVE IT!

 

Story Speaks…I Listen

Tags

finishing the manuscript, listening to the story, magic, thoughts, writing

I learned long ago to trust the story.

My head was always filled with ideas, characters, endings, all the strange and wonderful words of getting from point A to point B. But I never forced the story to stay on the path I first envisioned.

Which is why I stopped outlining. Because I was always wrong.

I accept this.

As I set off to write a new manuscript months and months ago, I reminded myself of this. I wrote quite a few books when I first began telling the stories in my head, then I seriously considered becoming published and, for years, I revised, revised, revised. So setting on my journey to write new words was scary.

And it took a lot of persistence to get it done.

Well, it’s not done… but I’m getting there. Putting butt in chair and opening the word doc is so much easier. Pressing keys and creating words comes without hours of procrastination. My 200 words a day has increased to 1000 or even 1500.

I still have days where I stare at the screen for hours, my mind blank. I still have procrastination problems…and Twitter is happy to fulfill my needs.

Through all the frustration and avoidance, the manuscript grew. DOORS, book 2 (awaiting a really cool title) now sits at just over 73,000 words. My first drafts tend to end up around 80,000 to 90,000 words. So as I watched the word count rise, I wondered how this story was going to end.

Okay. Technically I know how… it told me the end a long time ago. But I had scenes floating in my head that I had no idea where they fit together, like puzzle pieces strewn about the floor.

Panic. People. Panic.

But I took a deep breath and put my faith in the process because my muse, or fairies, or aliens, or whatever it is that beams the stories into my head has never let me down.

Magic happens. Believe in it!

On Saturday morning the final five chapters revealed themselves. All the scenes fell into place.

Because I kept my mind open. I listened to the story.

Never fight the words. The words know and if you’re quiet, they tell you all their secrets.

Now to finish this sucker. Then write another one.

 

#SpookyAllYear… Slasher

Tags

#SpookyAllYear, blood, Chiller Channel, gore, horror, Slasher, The Executioner, TV show

Time to join The Midnight Society in… Go visit and say hello to Faith who thought up this fabulousness.

 

So, I watch the Chiller Channel.

I love it for all it’s kinda terrible, kinda cool movies, but this channel devoted to creepy has stepped it up.

It’s first original series SLASHER began this month. So I watched the first episode.

Hello, fun new show. I like you. A lot.

Welcome to the small town of Waterbury. Where back in 1988 a killer named The Executioner killed a husband and his pregnant wife with a machete. The police found the murderer calmly sitting in a rocking chair holding the baby he cut out of the mother.

Now nearly 30 years later, the baby girl returns, all grown up.

Sarah and Dylan move into the home where her parents were murdered. Because that’s always a good idea.

Sarah and Dylan of Slasher

And The Executioner has returned as well…or at least a copycat, since the original is in jail.

This doesn’t end well for Verna…

In true slasher form, he’s silent, creepy and deadly. And he’s on a mission.

It’s gory. It’s terrible. I love it. A small town full of secrets, full of juicy layers, of people I’m not sure I trust, and people who will die horrible deaths. Who is The Executioner and why is he doing this? What does it have to do with Sarah? I’m hooked. I’ll be glued to the screen, cringing at the stabbings and hackings, but waiting to learn all the details.

 

Be Brave, Have Faith

Tags

#p2p16, editors, over-thinking, panic, Pitch to publication, submitting, thoughts, Twitter writing contest, writing

A very dear friend threw her words into the Twitter contest Pitch to Publication or #p2p16. A contest to get your words in front of editors.

She messaged me last week calling herself INSANE!

Of course I responded with a big WHAT?!?!?!

In a matter of moments she had found #p2p16, had read through the editors’ wish lists and found a couple who might just be looking for what she had written. I have read this particular manuscript (in one of its previous draft stages) and I loved it. Her words are stunning, the idea unique, dealing with eating disorders, an issue that needs to be brought into the light…so I told her to DO IT!

So easy. Right? Well, no.

When you ponder doing crazy things, panic sets in pretty quick. Was her query good enough and what about her sample pages? And if they request more, how much more and were her words okay?

These are questions with no answers. Because you can’t know until you put your words out there for everyone to see. And one person might love it and another won’t. Because we live in the land of art, where everything is subjective. Oh, art why you gotta be that way?

But keeping your art to yourself because of fear isn’t okay. So my friend had to be brave. She had to have faith in her work. And she had me and her hubs cheering her on!

And she did it! Then she panicked, because why wouldn’t you?

Now she waits to see if any of the editors she submitted to asks for more pages. Then she’ll wait to see if she is chosen by one of those editors to have them help her go through her manuscript. What a great prize!

Then her words will go before agents.

The chances of getting that far? I don’t know… not fabulous, but why not try? All it takes is trying. A little faith. A little bravery. And go for it.

My friend and I connect on several levels, but one we laugh about is our ability to over-think. We would revise forever, the words never good enough, the story never quite right. And our procrastination skills are legendary. Just ask us, we’ll tell you…later.

Sometimes it takes a rash decision, a moment of JUST DO IT to get past the over-thinking and let go of the need to revise again.

Only then does the magic happen.

And that one moment of JUST DO IT, that moment of bravery, of faith…could lead to dreams coming true.

I believe in you, My Lobster! Chosen or not, I am SO proud of you!

Because They’re My Choices

Tags

being me, choices, introverts, satisfied, thoughts

I’m going to let everyone in on a secret.

I can take care of myself. Believe it or not.

My hubs has this strange impression that because I don’t talk to people means that I am scared to talk to people and therefore need someone to do it “for me”. Because I’m four. Obviously.

Not true. I don’t usually talk to people, mostly because I tend to end up becoming a big ole ball of fuzzy awkwardness and I say things in my own special weird way, which is not always…appreciated. Okay, people look at me funny, like I just told them I believe in faeries.

Why, yes. Yes I do.

Being an introvert has its own set of issues. I am less likely to join a group, to talk to people, to strut out into the world as if I belong. Sure. But if I have a question, if I want to know something, I’ll ask.

If I choose not to ask…and yes, this is a choice, not fear…the knowing isn’t at the top of my list. Simple. All necessary answers will appear when needed. And some things I honestly don’t care if I know.

When I don’t approach a store clerk to ask a question, it’s because I’m okay with no answer. Even if that means I miss out on whatever it was I was thinking of doing. I chose not to ask and I will deal with any consequences of that choice, without crying, without whining.

I also do not need anyone to ask “for me” or tell me how I should have handled the situation.

I am always very happy with how I handle situations.

The problem hits when someone else disagrees with my choices. This is not my problem. I will not go back and change my actions to satisfy them.

However, this always makes me anxious. I begin to spiral down the I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT void.

Which is ridiculous.

Let me say it again. If I want to know, I’ll ask. I’m not four-years-old and need anyone to do it for me, nor do I want to be told what to do or what I should have done. Guess what, I’m not going to do things your way…

Why?

I’m not you.

What do I want?

To be allowed to live the way that works best for me. To be allowed to stay silent. To be accepted for all my awkwardness. It’s taken 43 years for me to make it here, that’s a lot of work.

That got a little ranty… yeah…

 

And I apologize to all the people who have had to deal with my strange brew of weird when I open my mouth.