Wait… DO I REMEMBER HOW?

Tags

art, blank pages, drawing, facing fear, faith, getting back to what I loved, Let go, The Sketchbook Project

I participated in a Secret Santa gift exchange this year and got a VERY cool present! I am excited and nervous and OH MY GOODNESS CAN I EVEN DO THIS ANYMORE?

I received this…

That is my sketchbook, my very own, to fill with all my drawings of the images in my head. A whole bunch of blank pages waiting for me to participate in The Sketchbook Project. Go find out more here. 

I have until about the middle of February to fill this so I can send to the Brooklyn Art Library, where it can join who knows how many other sketchbooks and people can see it! AH!

I haven’t drawn in a long time. But I used to. I used to sit in front of a piece of paper and create. I loved it. I sat down to do it again, and failed. Didn’t draw a line. Why? I FORGOT HOW? Out of practice? Overthinking? Fear? Indecision? Well…mostly FEAR.

Time to let go. Time to find all the images in my head and draw…for the love of drawing, of creating. I think I’ll bug the person who gifted it to me and pull her into the fun, get us both going. For she has a similar art background to me. For she misses the process as I do. And it’s much more fun to do things with friends, and easier to let go and draw if someone is cheering for you. So, Kisa, if you read this, beware. I need a friend in this adventure and YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE. We shall art together.

I am going to do this. I will keep you all in the loop as I head on this journey. Time to have faith in my talent and quit being afraid. (My motto for the upcoming year!)

 

 

#Magicday… Celebrating

Tags

celebrate, Christmas, family, holidays, magic, traditions

I know not everyone celebrates Christmas. So many holidays, so much magic, so much light and hope and happiness. I hope this magic finds you.

Celebrating is the key whatever traditions are taking place in your house with your family and friends.

This year, it was a quiet Christmas for us, just the four of us. No family came to visit, but the phones were a-ringing with words and images of the day. Santa came and left not quite as large a heap of presents as he used to…as kids age they want more expensive toys, which translates to less boxes. But they were all smiles, so YEA!

The four of us had a wonderful dinner with all the food we love. And Christmas magic means leftovers! I won’t be cooking for days. We played video games and hung out. I love getting together with all my family, but the quieter holidays are special.

As I took one last look at my Christmas tree last night before I turned off the lights, I was reminded of all the memories of so many Christmases before. Each ornament holds happiness of years gone by…when I was a kid, when my kids were younger. All the good times. Sooner than I think, my kids will be off having their own Christmases, in their own places, continuing the magic in their own ways. I will hold onto all these moments, but know that so many great times are yet to come.

Now we enter the strange limbo land of after Christmas and before New Years, where I usually pretend I can get back to normal and fail, so instead I’m going to read and pick up my pencils and sketch (which is another post) and enjoy myself. AND SO SHOULD YOU!

May you find joy in who you are.

May love and magic fill your life.

When you discover the light in you, share it with the world.

Celebrate.

Magicday…JUST DO IT

Tags

being a writer, enjoy, just write, overthinking, writing

Happy Monday! Less than one week until Christmas!

Kids go to school today and tomorrow and then they’re home for two weeks. And since I’ve trained them to ignore me, it will be great!

That is magic in itself, but I am here to celebrate the mystical fantastical magic that can happen when one stops overthinking and JUST DOES THE THING! This works for all sorts of life moments, but especially for me and the writing.

If you know me, you know that I am an overthinker. I won’t get things done because I’m so wrapped up in the how and why and WHAT IF I MESS IT UP thoughts twirling in my head. So I get nothing done.

I have a writer friend, who has the same problem. She has words of wisdom, WISE WISE WORDS!

NO THINKIES, JUST ENJOYSIES. Just write. Don’t think. Don’t try to plan. Listen to the story, let it flow. ENJOY THE PROCESS!

Shovel sand in the sandbox so you can build your castle.

Sit. Power up the laptop. Resist Twitter. OPEN WORD DOC. Write words.

This is the magic.

When I don’t think about what I am going to do, what I might mess up, what I have left, what I don’t know, I can write the words. Without the words, I have nothing. So if I can work my magic and stop my brain from interfering, I’m golden…well, maybe not gold, but a shiny-ish silver.

Hear that, brain? Stop thinking. We can do that later in revisions.

 

That’s No Moon, It’s a Space Station

Tags

letting ideas grow, stories, thoughts, writing

Okay, so maybe the fact that the new Star Wars movie comes out tomorrow has influenced my title, but it makes sense…

I swear.

Earlier this month I submitted a horror short story to an anthology. Fingers crossed, kids.

Two people read it.

Carina and Sarah, my dearests! Just two of the nicest, bestest people out there!

And both told me that it should be a book. Well, both told me it should be a series of books. They both saw a bigger story waiting to be told. My first reaction was…WHAT? NO! But then…well, actually, I know tons about the main character and her family. I didn’t get to explore the Afterhere all the way. I would like to dive deeper into beliefs with this story.

Both of these fabulous ladies had so many ideas, sparked by my little story! That is the best! So my creative brain latched on and I have filed away the idea. Someday, I’ll write this series…The Afterhere series, YA horror. I’ve always wanted to do a YA horror! There just isn’t enough of it out there in the world.

So my little moon? Is a space station.

Little ideas can grow. Sometimes without warning. Feed them. Let them spread, blossom. Let all the thoughts run amok, for greatness could bloom.

Magicday…SNOW

IT SNOWED!

I love snow. I love how it tiptoes and twirls through the air, silent, beautiful, frozen drops of water. Each one a wonderful crystalline work of art. Mother Nature is magical.

It tumbles from the sky, landing on warm coats and scarves, sticking to eye lashes and boots as if trying to embrace us, to wipe our minds of all the muck of life, of the worries and fear. The pureness of winter wipes the world clean, covering the land with a blanket of sparkling white. Tiny flakes hide the lawns we’ve been mowing all summer, the flower beds we’ve been weeding and trimming, and the mess of leaves no one raked. Snow reminds us of the simple things, to forget the craziness of living and revel in a season of snowmen and sledding.

Don’t the Christmas lights look merrier when the world is bright and new?

And don’t forget snow days! My kids are home from school today, enjoying the time off.

And if we could have a white Christmas, I would be one happy girl.

A Writer’s Brain

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being a writer, characters, crazy minds, differences, life of a writer, writers, writing

The inner workings of a writer’s mind is a strange and wonfabutastic thing. The crazy thought processes. The characters that won’t stop talking. The way we interpret the world.

Every once in a while, I stop and wonder at the weirdness.

Every writers’ work process is different. Plotting or pantsing. Word count goals or merely hoping for one more word. Write early in the morning or late at night. A set schedule or tossing the plan out the window.

Yet, so many things tie us together. The way life can throw us off. The way the characters can draw us back in. The way we can get lost in the worlds we create.

I haven’t worked on Doors 3 for… a while. I mean who’s counting? Not me. There were distractions. The call of short stories, you know I can’t resist. Well, one was submitted and rejected. Oh well. I submitted another last weekend. Fingers crossed, kids. I also went through another short, but that one isn’t clicking, so I left myself some great notes (I’m sure I won’t be able to interpret later) and moved on.

Well, moved back. Back to Bryn and her adventures through the doors. Back to her friends Ith, Akk, Cal, and Creech. Back to a universe full of every world imaginable. I love it there. Going back always takes me a minute of reading what I wrote, thumbing through my mess of notes, of remembering. Yet, no matter how long I’ve been gone, the characters welcome me. They want their story told.

Isn’t that cool!?!?!?!! I set the story aside, but when I picked it back up, BAM!, I fall in love all over again. HOW DOES THAT WORK?!!?!?

Doors 3 crossed 10,000 words last night. I always feel pretty good when I hit that number. There’s so much left, but I can’t focus on how far I have to go, only the next scene, the next paragraph…sentence…word. That’s how books are built.

No more distractions. No more leaving to go write other things. I’ve had my short story fun and now I will finish Doors 3. How long? Who knows. I’m just going to keep chugging along. That’s what writers do. We all have different routines, different ways to write, different inspirations, but we all listen to the voices in our heads. No matter how frustrated, we love it and return to the words as often as we can. The words always welcome us back.

#Magicday…Christmas Lights

Tags

Christmas, Christmas trees, joy, lights, love, thoughts, wonder

This time of year the world gets a bit brighter. Lights on trees. Lights on houses. Lights in our hearts.

Whatever holiday you celebrate, or don’t, I hope the shimmering colors brightening the world add a bit of happy to yours.

I put up three trees every year, this year I did it alone, as my hubs and kids declined to help. They missed all the fun. I hang garland and wreaths. And my North Pole village is one of my very favorite things.

When the sun goes down, no need to hit the switch for the overhead lights, just turn on the Christmas trees, wreaths, and garland and bask in the glow.

The houses with lights, push back the darkness. We light the way for the spirit of Christmas…for joy, hope, and love. Whatever you believe, what ever you celebrate, I wish you the simple joy of wonder and kindness. I wish you the magic of light.

My living room tree, with family ornaments. A 9 foot real tree! Smells SO GOOD!

Ten foot artificial tree dubbed the Sci-fi tree for the Star Trek, Star Wars, and Dr. Who ornaments. Note the Santa hats on Vader and Clone Trooper.

My North Pole village. I love creating this scene every year, a different set up each time.

 

Thanksgiving, Deadlines, and Me…Oh My

Tags

anxiety, deadlines, do my best, family, Thanksgiving, thoughts, unfocused, vacation

I don’t know about everyone else, but holidays always throw me off. They chuck me right off my path, rip any plans to shreds, and laugh at me.

And that’s okay. I like holidays.

Last week I was celebrating Thanksgiving with my family. WE HAD THE BEST TIME! We ate yummy food, we laughed, we chatted about life, I got to visit with my nieces (well, three out of four, one was too sick to come), we saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, we played the board game Risk (I was doing okay, until my baby sister wiped me out), and celebrated Christmas early because we won’t be seeing each other then.

I love those moments I get to spend with my parents, my sisters, and nieces. We never know exactly how much time we have left.

But the week leading up to our trip, I tend to freak out. Anxiety flows freely. There are things to do before we leave…cleaning, packing, shopping.

And don’t get me started on taking the dog to the vet to be boarded…that was a disaster. We made it, but WOW what a stressful hour. Dogs are weird.

I don’t like to leave my house, my cats, my routine. I mean, once I’m off, I’m fine, but there is a voice in my head that tells me to STAY HOME, until we leave the driveway. So I’m pretty useless the few days before we go. I can’t focus. I can’t settle. I can’t think.

When we returned, I was tired. Emotionally exhausted from all the visiting. There is laundry, shopping, picking the dog up from the vet (that went smoothly), and getting everything back to how it should be.

So settling back into my routine takes a minute…or several.

Usually, I excuse myself from being a human being during all these moments. Get what needs to be done done and don’t worry about the rest.

Except, there’s this anthology and I have a pretty cool story idea. I want to submit it! But it isn’t written. It should have been written before Thanksgiving, but that didn’t happen.

I got home and should have sat down to finish it, but that didn’t happen. Until yesterday when the story passed 3000 words and I went to bed last night knowing I have one scene THE FINAL AWESOME SCENE left to write.

YEA!

Sure…

But…

Deadline for submissions…SUNDAY. As in this Sunday.

I got this. THIS IS FINE. I will submit it, all they can do is reject it. No biggie.

So Thanksgiving hurled me off course. I wouldn’t do it any differently. So my weird brain made it hard for me to focus, I am me. Fighting against my nature tends to cause more frustration.

I shall carry on. Do the best I can with what I got. As we all should.