Scared of the Suckage

Tags

expectations, fear, first drafts, relax, thoughts, writing

I’ve started writing a new book!

I am so excited to tell Ember’s story of how she finds Nowhere. I love this whole idea! I love the characters. I love the setting. I love the tone. Adventure. Creepiness. So many emotions.

I know where the story is heading. I know the overall theme. So much is all figured out and the stuff that isn’t, well, it will show itself when it’s ready.

So, this…

Right?

Not exactly. More…

Yeah.

BUT WHY?!?!?!?!! Kathy…why?

I’ve been staring at the screen. And yes, blank pages that wait to be filled is frightening. I hate first drafts. But I know what the next scene is…I can see it played out in my head. Yes, translating the movie in my mind to words can be tricky, but not stare at the screen forever tricky.

So what is keeping the words from pouring from my fingertips?

Well, fear.

Fear that I won’t be able to link all the characters, the stories, the feelings. Fear that I won’t be able to tell this glorious idea that has been growing in my head in the right way, the best way…

That I will mess up what I think is a fantastic idea.

That I won’t be able to infuse the tale with the right amount of creepy and humor. That  I won’t be able to pull off the voice I want (because this is middle grade and VOICE IS EVERYTHING!). That I can’t tug this thing free from my mind and slam it on the page and make it real.

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty here. I’m scared it will suck.

So I admit it. I embrace it. I am scared.

What do we, as writers, do about that?

We take a breath, relax, and write anyway.

I’ll say it again.

Take a breath.

Relax.

Write. 

Have fun. Create. Don’t let these terrible expectations take away the reason we write, don’t let it steal the joy.

Because fear isn’t going to keep me from telling Ember’s tale. I’m going to pour all the words I can get into my first draft. I’m going to add all I can, get the story out. After I have a draft, I’ll worry about fixing it. I’ll sculpt the pile of words into what it wants to be.

Fear isn’t stronger than me.

 

Kathy Reads Women’s Fiction: A Tale of Leaving the Zone of Comfort

Tags

Adult book, reading, Stepping out of the comfort zone, Summer Heacock, The Awkward Path to Getting Lucky, thoughts, trying something new, Women's fiction

So, if you know me, you know what I like. Creepy. Magical. Scary. Fantastical. Weird.

I read fantasy, dark fantasy, magical realism, and horror. I read YA and MG.

Kissing isn’t my favorite, but boy do I like demons and magical worlds waiting to swallow you whole.

But sometimes…sometimes, it’s good to step out of your comfort zone. As scary as that sounds.

I just finished reading The Awkward Path to Getting Lucky by Summer Heacock. She’s on Twitter, go find her.

I’ve been following Summer for a long time on Twitter and FB and have met her at Midwest Writers Workshop…so, when her debut book released, I was intrigued. When I saw it, sitting there to buy at Midwest Writers last month, I bought it. When I asked her to sign it, her face lit up like Christmas…seriously if you ever get to go up to an author and ask them to sign their book, DO IT!

Anyway. I knew this book was VERY different than what I normally read. VERY DIFFERENT kinda doesn’t even cover it. But, I gave it a shot.

I struggled in the beginning. I doubted that I would finish it, the character voice was good, there was plenty of conflict, but I was unsure. There were other books calling to me. So I told myself to get to the halfway mark and see. And somewhere in the middle of a story about fixing broken vaginas and baking cupcakes, I began to care. I finished it yesterday with a smile on my face. Well-written. Great characters that I could relate to. There was kissing and a love story. Oh my. But I bought that love story, it felt real. There were great friendships, people I wanted to be friends with. But more than that. An emotional journey was hidden beneath the folds of snark. Emotions I understood.

In the end, I enjoyed the book.

So, just goes to show you that climbing out of your happy rut can be a good thing. The world is bigger than my rut. I did know that. I do know that. As hard as it is to stride into the land of different, it’s necessary to do. To remind ourselves that we are more than likes and dislikes, that we are more than this one color we wear. We are complex beings, who need to feed all the parts of ourselves.

Try something different. All that can happen is it doesn’t work…or maybe it will.

I mean, sure, I pulled out a YA horror book to read after, but…yeah.

Pantsers and Series: Take Two

Tags

back to blogging, middle grade, pantsers, series, thoughts, writing

So, I have a blog!

I nearly forgot.

I had a great summer. We went to Glacier National Park and hiked some great trails! We went with the Spirit of Woodlan (the Woodlan Jr/Sr HS marching band) to Washington DC to see them march in the Fourth of July parade! I attended Midwest Writers Workshop! I hung out with my kids! I did some writing, short stories are fun!

But now it’s back to a bit of routine. The kids are in school…freshman and sophomore this year. A new marching band season has begun.

And…I have started writing a new series.

A series, Kathy? You thought I had learned my lesson, right?

Well, I did. Kinda. My last series, the one that got completely out of control, the one I had to tame…yeah…it was interesting and that was the path it had to take. This series The Nowhere Books is different. For one, I know it’s a series. I am planning it as a series. DOORS…was written as a standalone years before the idea of more entered my mind.

I had the idea for Nowhere years and years ago, but it remained an idea only until the beginning of this year, when it became more.

The Nowhere series will be four books, middle grade (meaning for ages 8-12, I will focus more on upper middle grade) and horror. Yes! Horror! I want it creepy. But full of hope!

The series revolves around a class of sixth graders. So the main characters in each book will be in that class. So as we go through book one, the main characters for books two and three will be there. Book four will bring those three main characters together for the final battle. Yes, we must fight the evil.

I know the main characters for each book. I know the themes for each book. I know the basic story lines for each book. I know the big overall story through the series.

HOLY MOLY! Did I plot? Did I leave my pantser ways behind? Not really. No. Pretty sure I can’t just stop being me. So many things I don’t know. And I won’t until I write them. That’s how I work. I like it! I know enough to link things together. I know enough to be able to plant seeds for the next book and the next book and the next book. Hopefully that will (mostly) save me from what happened last time.

Hopefully.

And can we talk about middle grade?

I am so excited! Words. Chapter titles. The voice for MG is SUPER important. Adventure, but with good meaty emotion. I want to tackle some important issues. I want to portray a world of acceptance, of diversity (oh my, I used THE word). Yes. I know. A word of Twitter threads and preaching and yelling and rules. But to paint a picture of the world as it looks is very important to me. I will do my best.

Here’s to a great day. To me getting into blogging again, cause I did miss it. To all of us out there doing our best.