Beware! Dark Seas Author/Illustrator Showcase is Live

Today, my short story Inheritance is up on Jolene Haley’s wonderful blog as part of her Beware! Dark Seas author/illustrator showcase, happening ALL MONTH LONG.

This is my fifth year participating. Stories for the themes of haunted house, harvest festival, haunted hotel, and summer camp have all come before, uniting authors and artists with creepy fun. I have fun reading the stories and seeing the artwork, we all celebrate together, no accepting or rejecting…just art.

A HUGE thanks to Jolene for doing this every year. For thinking up a theme, for gathering people to participate, for posting all these stories. She is the best. Seriously.

Anyway…today is my day.

So go read mine. Then stay a while and read a few others. Have fun. But BEWARE!

Inheritance

Not So Much an ‘If’ Thing as a ‘When’

Tags

goals, not if but when, succeeding, thoughts

‘Ifs’ can dominate thoughts. If this happens, if I can do it, if the planets align…

if…

If…

IF…

When the ‘ifs’ move in, doubt comes with it. Frustration follows. Stress. Emotions crumble.

That little-bitty word can knock down towers of confidence, that stuff we work so hard to build, that stuff that teeters ever so closer to the edge of falling away.

So, we burn the ‘ifs’ with fire. Set them ablaze and try on a new word. WHEN.

When it happens. When I do it. Visualize the beautiful picture you will create when all the work is done.

‘When’ holds hope. ‘When’ carries possibilities.

‘Ifs’ path winds down a hill to an end. ‘If’ will let you down, release its grip on your hand and flutter off into nothing.

‘When’ climbs ever upward, wrapping around your heart and pulling you to where you want to go.

Though the journey of ‘when’ can twist and turn into uncertainty, the bright light at the top never fades. We’ll slow now and then. We’ll fall. We’ll stop to huddle in the shadows and cry. We’ll step from the trail to take a break, maybe go on vacation. The road won’t be easy or straight. The path won’t go the way we think, or hope. But we’ll keep going holding tight to the ‘when’.

Because it will happen. When it does, we’ll celebrate. When we reach our goals, we’ll throw confetti, maybe bake cookies.

Then we’ll find a new ‘when’. A new goal. Because life isn’t a set of stairs leading to a top. Life doesn’t have an end. There’s always another step.

So stomp on the ‘ifs’ and tell yourself ‘when’. Let yourself have bad days. Let yourself fall. Let ‘when’ help you back up and you will succeed. With the powerful magic of ‘when’, anything is possible.

Happily Whatever After

Tags

happily ever after, live for the moment, thoughts

I recently read The Land of Stories series by Chris Colfer. My daughter loves these books and, since I’m on a middle grade reading frenzy, I thought I would finally pick them up.

I enjoyed them! Adventures. Humor. Great characters. A world of fairytales.

And this wonderful very un-fairytale-like thought at the end, one I whole-heartedly agree with.

Happily ever after isn’t real.

Happily ever after is a dream fairytales give us…a dream continued in the romance genre, heck it’s a requirement for those books. When the point is reached where everything falls into place. When everything is going to be great from then on.

This is simply not real.

Which is why people read them. Sometimes we like not real. We like the dream come true. We like to live in a place where everything is okay.

The escape is nice. But…

Happiness isn’t something you reach, a platform you climb on top of and relax. It’s what you hold onto when you can wrap a finger around it and try to keep it from slipping away.

But there’s always change, another challenge waiting to twist our feelings, try our strength. Happiness is something we fight for, work towards.

There are no happily ever afters. Only happy in the moment, finding happiness everyday, facing every challenge hoping to get back to the joy. As much as happily ever after sounds like a good thing, the place to be, even if it did exist, life is better with the fight. As much as life can hurt, that only makes the happiness stronger, better when we are able to hold it, for the moment it is ours.

Live for those moments. Strive to reach them, knowing you have to work to keep it. Knowing the work is worth it.

New Year, New…You?

Tags

be you, goals, happiness, new year, thoughts

New year, new you!

I’ve heard this a lot. Every January 1st.

It’s a nice thought. That we can head into the new year and just…be someone else. Suddenly do things differently.

Though each year, I find that I am still the same old me. The same fears and doubts. The same bad habits. The same crazy, weirdness all wrapped up in moments of anxiety and depression and fun. The same girl living in a world asking it to love her…OMG I WENT ALL NOTTING HILL.

Save me.

I look back on last year and I guess I did stuff. I wrote stuff. I submitted stuff. I feel as though I was holding my breath. Did I accomplish every thing I wanted? Nope.

As I head into this year, I will write stuff. Maybe hear about the stuff I submitted. Still be the weird me who overthinks and forgets to just be. Maybe I will stop holding my breath. Maybe.

I will have moments where I AM DOING SO GOOD LOOK AT ME.

I will have moments where I SUCK AND I AM A FAILURE AND OMG WHAT AM I DOING WHO AM I.

New me? Nope. Just me. But being me is fine. I am working on making me better every day.

Resolutions? Goals?

Not really. They never work for me. They feel like weights around my neck, holding me down instead of setting me free. I want to remember to enjoy myself. I want to make me a bit better every day. And the days where I can’t? Those are okay.

One breath at a time.

I have things I want to do. I will do my best. And when I am pretty sure I am not doing my best, that I could do so much more if only this and I should that, I will remind myself that the ‘if only’s’ and ‘shoulds’ can go jump in a river. Those will hold me back. Those will steal my happiness.

Life is nothing without happy. Stress comes and goes. Fear is a liar. Happy is forever.

New year, new me?

New year…and me, along for the ride, ready to move forward however I can with my hands in the air and a smile on my face.

 

#Magicday…Pizza and a Movie

When I was a kid, Sunday night was pizza night. Every Sunday. My mom made pizza and we were allowed to eat in the living room! The whole family would gather around the TV and we would watch a show…anyone remember Wonderworks on PBS or the Wonderful World of Disney (wasn’t that what it was called?) that played a movie on Sundays?

And there was pop!

This was a special night. Our favorite night.

So, of course, when I got to be the mom, we have pizza night. When my husband would work a four on and two off schedule, there was no set night, but now that he has weekends off?

Sunday night is pizza night! The four of us choose a movie and all sit around together…unless the chosen movie doesn’t suit one of us *cough*14yodaughter*cough*…

We all love pizza night. We have a great time together. And leftovers mean I know what’s for lunch today.

Memories to keep.

Traditions to pass on.

It’s magic.

#Magicday…A New Year

Happy 2017!

What is it about a new year? Magically on January 1st, we reset. All the goals we didn’t quite achieve for whatever reasons, all the bad moments, and all the struggles get pushed aside. We carry all the good memories, all the things we did achieve, and all the strength we’re made of and walk off into the days full of possibilities.

Whether we set resolutions or not, whether we go off full steam ahead or simply dip our toe in the water, we step out of the shadows and into the light of what if.

What if we can conquer our fear…

What if we can do the thing…

What if we can grab onto our happiness and never let it go…

What if we can be everything we are meant to be…

Except there is no what if, not really.

We can and we will be our best. We can and we will have new beginnings, even if it is working on things from last year.

This year promises bright, shiny stars ready for us to reach up and snag them, put them in our pockets and let their light seep into our very beings. Maybe we make all our wishes and dreams come true…or maybe not quite. But we will try.

Trying matters. Doing matters.

You matter.

*raises my glass of chocolate milk* To you! To us! Happy New Year!

Wait… DO I REMEMBER HOW?

Tags

art, blank pages, drawing, facing fear, faith, getting back to what I loved, Let go, The Sketchbook Project

I participated in a Secret Santa gift exchange this year and got a VERY cool present! I am excited and nervous and OH MY GOODNESS CAN I EVEN DO THIS ANYMORE?

I received this…

That is my sketchbook, my very own, to fill with all my drawings of the images in my head. A whole bunch of blank pages waiting for me to participate in The Sketchbook Project. Go find out more here. 

I have until about the middle of February to fill this so I can send to the Brooklyn Art Library, where it can join who knows how many other sketchbooks and people can see it! AH!

I haven’t drawn in a long time. But I used to. I used to sit in front of a piece of paper and create. I loved it. I sat down to do it again, and failed. Didn’t draw a line. Why? I FORGOT HOW? Out of practice? Overthinking? Fear? Indecision? Well…mostly FEAR.

Time to let go. Time to find all the images in my head and draw…for the love of drawing, of creating. I think I’ll bug the person who gifted it to me and pull her into the fun, get us both going. For she has a similar art background to me. For she misses the process as I do. And it’s much more fun to do things with friends, and easier to let go and draw if someone is cheering for you. So, Kisa, if you read this, beware. I need a friend in this adventure and YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE. We shall art together.

I am going to do this. I will keep you all in the loop as I head on this journey. Time to have faith in my talent and quit being afraid. (My motto for the upcoming year!)

 

 

Magicday…SNOW

IT SNOWED!

I love snow. I love how it tiptoes and twirls through the air, silent, beautiful, frozen drops of water. Each one a wonderful crystalline work of art. Mother Nature is magical.

It tumbles from the sky, landing on warm coats and scarves, sticking to eye lashes and boots as if trying to embrace us, to wipe our minds of all the muck of life, of the worries and fear. The pureness of winter wipes the world clean, covering the land with a blanket of sparkling white. Tiny flakes hide the lawns we’ve been mowing all summer, the flower beds we’ve been weeding and trimming, and the mess of leaves no one raked. Snow reminds us of the simple things, to forget the craziness of living and revel in a season of snowmen and sledding.

Don’t the Christmas lights look merrier when the world is bright and new?

And don’t forget snow days! My kids are home from school today, enjoying the time off.

And if we could have a white Christmas, I would be one happy girl.

Violin-ing…Again

Tags

concerts, love, music, my life with music, thoughts, violin

It’s back!

Back in fourth grade, I joined the orchestra. I can’t remember why, but when the school offered to teach kids to play instruments, I signed up. I picked the viola, and this I remember why, because as the violin had all the important parts, the viola was the support…in the background…where I liked (and still like) to live.

I don’t remember if it was once or twice or whatever a week, I would leave class to got to my lesson. However, soon after beginning, my instructor recommended to my mom that I switch to the violin. He said I would be happier with it. So I did…no big deal.

My parents rented me an instrument for a while. And I kept playing…and they thought maybe they should buy me my own and stop having to make payments. When I could play a full size violin (yup, they have sizes), the search began. My mom remembers my instructor calling her to inform them that he had found me the perfect one, the sound was great, and would they be interested in buying it.

So my parents bought me a violin. And dude, those things aren’t cheap. So I felt a bit excited…and a bit guilty that they spent so much money on ME!

But I loved playing. In high school, I went to orchestra everyday and participated in all the concerts. I also joined the Central Illinois Concert Orchestra (CICO…yup, we pronounced it “sicko”…fun, right?). We had to AUDITION for that! The nerves on try-out day! Playing all by myself in front of a table of serious-looking people! Stomach churning. However, playing in a full orchestra, with brass and woodwinds and percussion, was AMAZING! I got my first taste of Wagner and Mahler and Holst, and WOW! Chills, people.

When I moved to Springfield, Il., there was no orchestra at the high school.

Mom found the Sangamon Valley Youth Symphony… and I played with them the rest of my junior year and all of my senior year.

Then…I went to college.

And my violin sat at home. Then I got married and moved, taking my instrument with me…because it was mine.

Over the years, I always knew where it was, but never thought much about it. It was a closed chapter in my life.

Chapters can be re-opened.

Three years ago, my daughter started playing the trumpet. I remembered playing my violin. And how much I loved it.

So I pulled out the case and opened it. The strings were broken…the bow had seen better days. The thought of getting it fixed entered my head and never left.

Well, a couple of years later and with a bit of money, my violin is playable again!

I took it to the music shop where we bought my daughter’s trumpet. I flipped the latches up, a sound I had missed. I opened the case, one I had carried for years, one I opened and closed so many times, so long ago. The string-guy (that’s what they called him) told me it was in good shape and could certainly help.

Leaving it there, with the experts, send odd quivers of sadness and excitement through my stomach. That instrument means a lot to me. The fact that my parents spent money on it…for me! All the music I played on it. All the concerts. It is a piece of me, one I’ll never lose because I love it.

I brought it home and set it under my chin and played a note. I bought a beginning violin book and can still read the music…can still remember what fingering to use. Though I have forgotten a lot, with a little work, I hope to make beautiful music with it. And my daughter wants to learn how to play, too.

The case still has my name on it from grade school…Mom carefully wrote it out and taped it there.

Pretty, right? For being 30 or so years old…

So there it is. The story of my violin and my current attempt at violin-ing.

 

 

Magicday…Individuality

Tags

celebrate, individuality, inspiration, magic, make Monday magic, positivity, spread a smile, thoughts

I have been struggling with what to blog about lately. It happens to us all.

What to write? What to post? What do I want to talk about? Well…

In a world drowning in politics, of so many opinions clashing and exploding…a world fighting for equality, people screaming and punching their ways out of confining boxes made of definitions…a world where too much violence occurs…

The world needs magic.

So the search begins, for magic, in whatever form we can find it.

What a perfect thing to post on Mondays, the least favorite day of the week. Poor Mondays.

With a wave of my wand…Monday transforms into MAGICDAY!

POOF!

The bit of magic I want to celebrate today is INDIVIDUALITY!

So many people on one planet. And not one is the same as any other. Sure, we can find people who have similar opinions, like the same things, or live the same way we do, but NO ONE an exact match.

MAGIC.

Yes, it can cause fighting, but it can also allow the beauty of the world to shine. What a gorgeous world we have when every flower is different, when we can turn to the person next to us and learn something new!

This should unite us. And coming together as the Human race won’t erase all the things that make each person, each culture, unique, but give each person the chance to add their voice to the chorus.

So instead of shaming your neighbors for their opinions, instead of trying to silence them…rejoice in the fact of our individuality. The great power of the universe (whatever you may call it, or not) has granted us the ability of thought, of forming our own opinions, and we should use this magic to the best of our ability.

We won’t change the world by telling everyone else they’re wrong, but by being ourselves and allowing every one else that same magic.

The person next to you who is spouting ideals that clash with yours? It’s going to happen.

There is no right and wrong, only a whole lotta people with a whole lotta beliefs. The beauty of individuality.

Happy Magicday, everyone!