• About Me
  • Home
  • Short Story Achievements

Finding Faeries

~ My continuing mission to explore … magic

Finding Faeries

Tag Archives: fearing success

Facing the Real Fear

29 Monday Jan 2018

Posted by Kathleen Palm in Thoughts, writing

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

facing fear, failing, fear, fearing success, rejections, thoughts, writing

I’m not a believer in writer’s block, in some unseen force sent from another dimension that magically holds our creativity hostage.

I do believe that writers can block themselves.

No mystical energy is stopping the words. We are. The question is…why?

Why do we sit in front of the computer, in front of a blank notebook and stare? Why can’t we write words?

Did we forget how?

Nope.

Do we not want to?

Nope.

Is our well of story ideas empty?

Nope.

It’s no secret that I am struggling with the words. I know why.

Fear.

I have decided to query agents with this manuscript. An agent. My entire writing career has been me not querying agents because I firmly believe no agent will sign me. I’m not good enough.

So to have these specific plans for this book, pretty much destroys any self-confidence I ever had. Why finish it when I’m going to fail? It will never be good enough. I can’t create the perfect thing in my head on the page. If I can’t reach this perfection, I should just give up.

But let’s look at the real fear here. Because it’s not the thought of failure. Someone at my writers’ group uttered a phrase, one I’ve heard, one I believe, one I had forgotten.

People fear success. What do we have if we reach our dreams? Where do we go from there?

I fear this manuscript will be good enough. I fear an agent offering rep. I fear the world I don’t know, one where I am not searching for the path I want to tread, but am walking it.

A few years ago I signed a manuscript with a small press and with the excitement came panic. I don’t know how to be an author with a published book. I don’t know what that means. I still don’t, but I realize that not a lot of people do. We learn as we go.

Maybe that world isn’t so bad. Maybe I’ll find my way there.

Instead of fearing setting foot on the path I dreamed about for so long, instead of striving for a perfection that isn’t attainable, I am going to do my best. I’m not a terrible writer, I do okay. This book idea is pretty cool. If an agent doesn’t like it…I’ll carry on with another dream.

Though that isn’t the fear, is it? The failing, the rejections. It’s that offer that’s scary. It’s that I am good enough. It’s living in a world I don’t know.

It’s okay to be scared. It’s not okay to run from your dreams because of the fear.

Look it in the eye.

And write the words.

Sharing my search for magic in everything.

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 10,366 other followers

Archives

  • January 2021 (1)
  • November 2020 (1)
  • October 2020 (2)
  • August 2020 (1)
  • October 2019 (1)
  • September 2019 (1)
  • July 2019 (2)
  • June 2019 (1)
  • March 2019 (2)
  • December 2018 (1)
  • October 2018 (2)
  • August 2018 (3)
  • July 2018 (2)
  • June 2018 (5)
  • May 2018 (3)
  • April 2018 (3)
  • March 2018 (3)
  • February 2018 (4)
  • January 2018 (5)
  • December 2017 (2)
  • November 2017 (3)
  • October 2017 (4)
  • September 2017 (13)
  • August 2017 (3)
  • June 2017 (3)
  • May 2017 (4)
  • April 2017 (5)
  • March 2017 (6)
  • February 2017 (17)
  • January 2017 (5)
  • December 2016 (8)
  • November 2016 (4)
  • October 2016 (9)
  • September 2016 (17)
  • August 2016 (9)
  • July 2016 (7)
  • June 2016 (6)
  • May 2016 (9)
  • April 2016 (3)
  • March 2016 (8)
  • February 2016 (9)
  • January 2016 (8)
  • December 2015 (12)
  • November 2015 (9)
  • October 2015 (7)
  • September 2015 (10)
  • August 2015 (9)
  • July 2015 (9)
  • June 2015 (10)
  • May 2015 (9)
  • April 2015 (8)
  • March 2015 (9)
  • February 2015 (11)
  • January 2015 (10)
  • December 2014 (8)
  • November 2014 (7)
  • October 2014 (28)
  • September 2014 (9)
  • August 2014 (10)
  • July 2014 (7)
  • June 2014 (9)
  • May 2014 (7)
  • April 2014 (7)
  • March 2014 (10)
  • February 2014 (8)

Goodreads

Kathleen Palm, Author

Kathleen Palm, Author

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy