It’s gonna be a loooooooooooooooong week.
My normal routine is far, far away. Out of reach, it seems. And I am going to lose my mind. Yes, I realize it has already been lost, but stay with me.
In December, I let my routine go. I cut loose, which means I ate a lot of candy and pie, laughed at the thought of workouts, and had a good time with my family. So the idea of the return of normality brought me joy. However, the Universe in all its wisdom has decided to keep it from me.
Perhaps there is a lesson here. Perhaps I don’t care.
With school starting again, I rejoiced in the idea of getting back to life. Workouts. Eating better. Writing. Then school was delayed and cancelled. The next week looked promising, then the dog got sick and other emotionally draining things… blah, blah, blah. Life spiraled into wack-o-ness.
If you follow me on FB and Twitter, you might have seen my posts about the poor puppy, who ate things he should NOT have and ended up having surgery last Friday to remove the wad of crud lodged in his stomach. Possibly, he was a vacuum in a former life.
Well, he is doing fine now. Eating. Romping. Happy. But recovering. I have a list of instructions from the vet. I have meds to be given.
And who can limit the activity of a five month old puppy? NO ONE!
I have been up for three hours and have taken the puppy outside approximately FOUR HUNDRED TIMES. Okay, not really. But close. He wants to be outside. But… stitches… must watch him… WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG?
Hello, Monday. Hello the stress of a puppy running my life.
I am incapable of dealing with things that deviate from my routine. If life goes awry, I panic. I tend to not function well. Nothing gets done. I have a plan in my mind, and, as soon as I step one foot off the path, the plan ends up in a crumpled ball, forgotten.
Hubs is out of state. The kids are home today, but tomorrow, they will be at school. So it’s just me and puppy. I can lock him in his cage so I can workout and shower, but will he mess with his stitches? I can put him outside, but is that the best idea?
I have to make it through the week. Keep the dog as safe as possible as well as try to hold onto what little sanity I have tucked in the dark corners of my mind.
Maybe it’s not the Universe doing this to me as much as me chasing what I want my life to be, letting all these external things stop me. Maybe. In a lot of things, I am a flexible person… go with the flow and all that jazz. When it comes to my life and my goals, I will give up, curl up in a ball in a corner and cry.
Maybe I don’t think I’m worth having everything I want. I don’t deserve all the things, so I allow life to get in the way. Maybe.
Sometimes life DOES get in the way.
Sometimes I get in my own way.
The trick is to know which is which. To accept when I really can’t do what I want. To push through when it’s just me being… well, me. And somewhere in that mess to find peace.
And that is what I wish you, my friends. Peace. Calm. Happy. Have a great week!