What Is It With the Kissing Books? Geez.

Tags

books, kissing scenes, no rules, rules, sex, Young adult

If anyone knows me, they know I’m not big on kissing, on romancy schmancy stuff, but it is everywhere.

Everywhere.

Now, don’t get me wrong, a good love story can always make me smile, kissing and sex scenes all have their place.

But they’re not my favorite.

Maybe I’ve been jaded by too many of those scenes that felt forced or not realistic… I don’t know. Possibly there’s more to life than kissing?

Don’t give me that look. It’s just my opinion. Remember? I talked about this… You don’t have to agree with me.

So writing about romance and kissing aren’t my thing. But, Kathy, you write YA… isn’t there supposed to be relationships, aka kissing?

Supposed to be? Nah.

For one, I’m not going to force love on my characters because I think I have to. Do you know how much that would make my ms suck? A lot.

Two… I have written kissing. I have written crushes. Devin in Faerie Wind has a crush, and she’s too much of a fraidy cat to do anything, well, until she starts turning into a faerie and, well, magical confidence happens. Kim in Fate’s Mistake suddenly confessed to me that she had feelings for her best friend. I said, “What? Are you nuts? You have a puzzle to solve to change the future and you like him?”

Well, she kissed him.

So, I can do it, if the situation arises. But I don’t go into a story with romance in mind. But, Kathy, teens… they like that.

Sure. I suppose. But not all of them. As a teenager, I didn’t date. I didn’t focus on boys or kissing. Heck, boys scared me. I had no idea who I was, I didn’t need any more problems.

There’s more to life than kissing. There’s more to life than the hot boy or girl in Calculus class. There is learning about yourself, learning to believe in yourself, learning to love yourself. These are all YA themes.

Someone asked if there would be a love interest in my sequel to Doors. Right now, my answer is no. I have no plans for kissing. However, as I’m writing, if Bryn decides to pull out the I-think-I-love-him(or her) card, I will roll with it. She is eighteen after all… I fell in love at eighteen.

I have no problem with sex in YA. I have no problem with kissing and relationships (bad or good ones). All this happens in real life. Teens face all sorts of choices, of situations. Fiction should reflect that. But when it comes to the kissing stuff, I am not the one to write it.

There are no supposed to’s here. There are just words and feelings. There are people and the stories they have to share. Let’s celebrate that there are no rules, that we can write what we want. Really, it’s a good thing we all have a different way of telling those stories or books would be mighty boring.

 

Let’s Talk about Sex … YA Style

Tags

fantasy, reality, relationships, romance, sex, teens, thoughts, writing, YA

*climbs on soap box* *clears throat*

A recent blog post sent my mind spinning. Because it hit so close to the mark of what has been bothering me and the portrayal of sex and relationships in YA books. http://yatopia.blogspot.com/2014/05/lets-talk-about-sex-in-on-screen-ya.html Go read it, I’ll give you a sec.

Does sex and relationships belong in YA?

Yes. It is a part of the life of teens. It is part of the transformation into adulthood. Teens make personal connections, find relationships, explore new emotions. IT’S THRILLING … IT’S MIND-BOGGLING … IT’S WEIRD!

YA writers should stay true to the teen experience.

As a teen, do I remember lusty nights where some hot, muscled guy ripped my clothes off?

Ummmm … No. I remember being so nervous I thought I’d puke. I remember my brain spinning do fast, I thought I’d explode. I remember not having a clue!

Are adult fantasies creeping into the books? I don’t know. Maybe.

As a teen, sex is exciting, but SCARY! It’s a big deal. The anxiety! The fear! The self-doubt! Why have I not read books linking those feelings to sex? Personally, I like to stay away from the romance-y stuff. When I come across a lusty scene in a book, I cringe, I curl up inside of myself hoping it will go away. It doesn’t feel real to me. It feels like a fantasy.

Should we show teens these sexual fantasies that, when they grow up, don’t exist? Or if they do, I’ve never discovered them. Possibly, I’m sheltered, naive … so be it. But I want teens to relate to sex as a real, scary, but incredibly exciting experience – a marvelous connection between two people.

When these kids grow up and become adults (whatever that means) there are plenty of books out there where they can dream of sexual fantasies with hot, muscled men and gorgeous women. For now, I want to give them reality … well, reality with a whole lot of weird like magic and faeries thrown in, but reality. I want them to revel in the awkward. I want them to relate to the confusion and self-doubt. I want them to know that all those crazy, new feelings are okay … they’re real.

And it’s awesome.

So consider sex and relationships. Okay, romance-nuts, what do you like to see in YA? And everyone else? Are we venturing too far into fantasy land?