Today, I feel a bit fuzzy.
I’ve been working and working on a short story, and the best writing time hit in the middle of the night. A few nights going to bed at 3 or 4 am can seriously deplete your energy.
Yesterday I read that beat up draft of my unicorn story to my writers’ group. There’s something about this story I love, like LOVE LOVE. Is it the unicorn aspect, a unicorn with a dark twist? Maybe. Is it the theme that there is no happily ever after, only moments of joy that drive you to search for more? Maybe.
I want…I need it to be good. Submissions for the anthology open on September 1, and I would love to see it published.
So I was extra nervous to read it.
As in I thought I was going to throw up nervous.
For your amusement, let’s visit the thoughts that went through my mind as I read…
Oh. Wow. Only on page two…this feels so long.
Geez, me, can you repeat that word any more?
I think I already said something similar to that…DID I SAY SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THAT? Ugh. Repetitive much?
Oh. Yes. Too long. Dragging.
Tension…all the tension. Too much tension?
Is anyone understanding what I meant there?
Hmmm…that scene, I thought I deleted it? Why didn’t I? SHOULD I HAVE DELETED THAT?
Everyone is really quiet…maybe they fell asleep…OMG THEY FELL ASLEEP THIS IS BAD!
I’m sweating…I think I’m sweating. Do I smell?
Oh. More words I obviously can’t live without.
Maybe I should go home and burn this.
Seriously quiet in here…no one is moving. I think I killed them.
Aren’t I done yet? This is so long!
Almost done. THEN WHAT WILL EVERYONE SAY??!?!?
LAST LINE THANK GOODNESS I’M DONE!
Of course as everyone commented, my brain spun a million miles an hour, deciphering what they said, translating their thoughts into what it meant for the story. What did they hear? What did they get from the story? What did they like? What did they not understand?
Did these words do the job I wanted them to do?
Yes. I had positive feedback. The story is there, I just have some problems to fix…problems I knew existed, because, dude, I do those things all the time. Repetition is a fun thing I do. Beginnings, not my forte, I need to add a bit. I think I have a good opening line and closing line…SO YEA THESE ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!
AND THE GRAND POOBAH OF ALL…the message was in there. Those listening got the point of the story.
Anyone else have similar experiences? Anyone else send work off to be read, or read it in front of people and feel like they’re going to explode? My guess, pretty much everyone. Our work, our art, is a bit of ourselves and we want to be liked, we want to be good enough.
This is a good thing. It makes us strive to be better, to learn. Now I will take what my notes and see what will help my story and what won’t.
But I’m not going back to revisions for a while. Like I said, my brain is mushy… *pokes it with a stick*…yup, mush.
And perfect timing, I leave for vacation on Saturday and will be gone for a week. So today and tomorrow will be me crossing the I MUST DO THESE THINGS BEFORE I LEAVE off the list. And because I will be out of the state visiting family, I will be absent from here.
DON’T CRY I WILL RETURN!
Have a great week!